FBF #9: Seeing Beyond Our Beliefs

A guide to moving past tunnel vision and finding beauty in diversity

Don’t Believe Everything You Think

I begin my high school English class every Friday with a Quote of the Week. The very first one I shared this year was, “Don’t believe everything you think.” I quickly followed this up with Philip Tetlock’s remark that, “Beliefs are hypotheses to be tested, not treasures to be guarded.”

Why do I begin with these quotes in particular? First, all humans are susceptible to cognitive biases. Confirmation bias, or the tendency to seek out information that confirms our beliefs, is rampant in today’s society. Developing the courage to question our deeply held assumptions is a critical part of becoming an adult.

There is another, more fundamental, reason that I introduce these concepts to students at my Islamic school, however. Members of faith-based communities or any group with strong set of external beliefs tend to develop tunnel vision and a “my-way-or-the-highway” mindset. This rigid, narrow way of seeing the world prevents them from entertaining other perspectives, which, in turn, makes them far less dynamic in their thinking.

Of course there is a delicate balance and considerable nuance to this discussion when it comes to religion. By no means am I encouraging my students to question the tenets of their faith. There are a variety of new-age interpretations of Islam that violate many of its core principles and of which it is entirely justified to be skeptical.

Nevertheless, I see so many of them with blinders on, mindlessly rejecting anything that doesn’t perfectly align with their understanding of the world and instead adopting a holier-than-thou perspective that can be extremely alienating. I want them to deepen their understanding and appreciation of Islam by embracing the giant ocean of our tradition and the many ways it has manifested itself in different cultures.

The Crystal Clear Waters of Islam

Dr. Umar Farooq Abdullah wrote a compelling essay titled “Islam and the Cultural Imperative.” He begins with this remarkable paragraph:

For centuries, Islamic civilization harmonized indigenous forms of cultural expression with the universal norms of its sacred law. It struck a balance between temporal beauty and ageless truth and fanned a brilliant peacock’s tail of unity in diversity from the heart of China to the shores of the Atlantic. Islamic jurisprudence helped facilitate this creative genius. In history, Islam showed itself to be culturally friendly and, in that regard, has been likened to a crystal clear river. Its waters are pure, sweet, and life-giving but—having no color of their own—reflect the bedrock over which they flow. In China, Islam looked Chinese; in Mali, it looked African.

Many people—especially if they are young or new to the faith—seem intent on projecting their binary vision of Islam onto the world and discounting out of hand any alternative viewpoint. For them there is one “right” way of practicing the faith, and everyone else is misguided. When I first became Muslim, I had a lot of these same qualities, and this is likely why I so bristle when I see my students treading the same path.

This phenomenon of discounting anything that diverges from our weltanschauung is not, of course, an issue exclusive to faith-based communities. In fact, I have seen the exact same traits from those who immediately discount any mention of religion, calling it a delusional fairy tale or the “opiate of the masses.” A rabidly secular worldview can be just as myopic and dismissive as a hyper-religious one. Atheism is just as much a religion as other faith traditions.

As someone who stands astride two cultures—my American roots and my Muslim beliefs—I am committed to helping each side see the beauty in the other. Indeed, that is the mission of this Five Before Five newsletter. Here are a few ideas to help us develop humility around our beliefs.

1) Don’t Judge a Sufi By His Robe

I was surprised and saddened earlier this week that of my more than 50 high school students, only one had ever heard of Jalaluddin Rumi. Rumi, of course, is arguably the most famous poet of all time, and he is a member of our faith. Once I explained that he was a Persian mystic or Sufi, many rolled their eyes and questioned why I would teach the works of someone they had instantly decided was a heretic based on a limited and narrow understanding of the rich tradition of Tasawwuf or Sufism.

Similarly, earlier today, I gave my 9^th graders the choice between watching a biopic of JD Salinger or a Ramadan series about Paradise. They, of course, chose the latter, but some then balked because they had heard “bad things” about the scholar who was leading the series. I very rarely lose my cool or raise my voice in the classroom, but this drove me to the edge. I said something like, “What gives you the right, at 14 years old, to disparage a scholar who has devoted years of his life to understanding Islam based on something you saw on TikTok?”   

To their credit, once I began teaching Rumi’s Ramadan poem and showing them how it was overflowing with Islamic imagery and spiritual concepts, they quickly changed their tune and wanted to read more of his poetry. Once we began watching the Yaqeen Institute’s exquisitely produced Jannah series, which contains myriad authentic descriptions of Paradise and its delights, they sat transfixed and did not want to leave when the bell rang.

We all have certain trigger words that make us lose any ability to think rationally. As soon as some makes a positive (or negative) remark about a polarizing figure like Donald Trump, many of us immediately jump to conclusions about their entire worldview. We should all suppress our instinct to put our fingers in our ears as soon as an alternative viewpoint is shared and instead “seek first to understand, then to be understood.”

2) Your Ears Closer to your Mouth than Anyone Else’s

If we want our words to have an impact, recognize that we are speaking to ourselves before anyone else. Whether we are preaching from the pulpit or trying to persuade investors with a slide deck, we must recognize that the primary audience of our words is our own ears. This humility—assuming it is authentic—builds trust with our listeners and is critical to good leadership.

Good to Great, an exceptional management book by Jim Collins, includes an exhaustive linguistic study of speeches and annual reports from industry leaders that showed that one significant difference between top performing and lower performing CEOs was their use of the first person pronoun. The lower performing CEOs used “I” many more times than “we,” and the reverse was found with top performing leaders.

The golden rule in leadership is to use 'I' to take the blame and 'us or we' for accepting praise. The Harvard Business Review has a whole article entitled, If You Want to Be the Boss Say We Not I.

3) Detect Your Blind Spots

One of the greatest safety features of new cars is blind spot detection. Thousands of lives have no doubt been saved by that little light on the side view mirror that tells us when danger is close at hand but out of sight.

We all need to install blind spot detection in our personal and professional lives as well. Here are a few questions we can ask to help define the contours of our own blind spots.

• What are my most deeply held beliefs and values, and where did they come from?

• In what areas am I most defensive or resistant to feedback or criticism?

• What types of people or situations make me uncomfortable or trigger strong emotional reactions?

• What do I tend to overlook or ignore in my work, relationships, or personal life?

• What feedback have I received in the past that I initially resisted, but later found to be valuable?

4) Learn to Use Razors for More Than Shaving

I was first exposed to the secondary meaning of “razor” when a student showed me this doozy of a supplemental essay question on the Tufts application:

Sports, science and society are filled with rules, theories and laws like the Ninth Commandment, PV=nRT, Occam's Razor, and The Law of Diminishing Returns. Three strikes and you're out. "I" before "E" except after "C." Warm air rises. Pick one and explain its significance to you.

Somehow, my many years of education did not include a unit on Occam’s Razor, a problem-solving principle that states that, when faced with multiple explanations for a phenomenon, the simplest explanation is usually the best one.

This led me down a rabbit hole of searching for more razors, or rules of thumb that help simplify decision making by “shaving away” unnecessary elements in problem solving. I eventually found Sahil Bloom’s The Most Valuable Razors, which provides examples of more than 20 razors. Teaching these has become a high-impact, can’t-miss class activity. Here are a few of my favorites:

5) Longest Distance in the World is From the Tongue to the Heart

This concept is the first cousin of our earlier point about our ears being closer to our mouths than anyone else’s. As humans, we are drawn to those who talk the talk, but it is those that walk the walk that change the world.

When we genuinely believe what we are saying, our words almost don’t even matter. Whenever someone “locks in” and starts speaking from the heart, we cannot help but be moved.

Randy Pausch’s “Last Lecture,” a speech about achieving childhood dreams that he gave months before his death from pancreatic cancer, has more than 21 million views on YouTube because he spoke with heartfelt urgency, knowing his time was near. Similarly, Neil Gaiman’s “Make Great Art” commencement speech has been studied the world over because he believed every word that he said.

During Ramadan, we are blessed to have the opportunity to listen to the recitation of the entire Quran. Occasionally the imam will become so overwhelmed by the impact of one of the verses that he will begin to weep. Within seconds, there is not a dry eye in the entire congregation.

Sincerity is contagious, and true sincerity is one of the rarest qualities in this world, nearly impossible to achieve and extremely easy to lose. The Prophet (PBUH) said: There is a piece of flesh in the body if it becomes sound the whole body becomes sound, but if it gets spoiled the whole body gets spoiled, and verily that is the heart. [Sahih al-Bukhari 52]

In order for us to bathe in the crystal clear rivers of Islam and truth, we need to cleanse our hearts, eliminate all pretense, adopt humility, and strive to keep it real. And I need this reminder more than anyone else.